To be a coal cracker you have to be/like/have:
* You must live in a coal town.
* You must Have the coal cracker "accent"
* You must be hard working
* You must drink beer alot.
* Loves meat, and hot bologna
* loves to go to the local bar, and drink all day
* loves to smoke cigars/ciggerets
* Proud to be a coal cracker
* Usually from Pennsylvania.
* Usually have relitives that worked in the mines.
* Usually know alot about coal, and coal mines and that kind of stuff.
* Curse alot
* Hate Messes (most of them are obsessive complusive)
* Grows their own weed on the stirppins.
* Loves to walk in the woods.
* Likes to look at the shit circk
* Likes to ride their four wheelers and dirt bikes in the strippins'
* most of them are decendents from german/pa dutch/polish
* Love Bargains
* love to brag about how much they've saved.
* love sharing
* coal crackers tend to exaggerate
You know your from the coal region when…..
• You say Hyaa! to greet others.
• Saturday night means cruising Main St.(or Independence St. if you're from the Shamokin area), unless, of course,
the church is having a block party.
• You spit chew on the sidewalk and so does your girl.
• You belong to the Moose, VFW, Eagles, Knights, a Polish Club, or any fire company.
• You have pierogy eating contests.
• In high school, the girls teams do better than the boys teams.
• You go out to a bar, drink til you can't stand, then drive home fast.
• The best thing that can happen on the job is "disability".
• Most cooking recipes start with "melt a pound of lard".
• You use food stamps to buy lobster at the IGA or Acme.
• Somebody in your family gets a check for "black lung".
• You have a "Christmas club".
• You know what "scrapple" is.
• You say "Ain't tho" more than once in a sentence;
• You call your friends "you's guys".
• You gamble all your pay in the pool hall.
• Your home is within walking distance of more than three Catholic churches (or at least buildings that used to be
• You consider keilbasa one of the four major food groups (along with pierogies, halushki and Yuengling Lager!).
• Your house has any of those awful looking puke green tarpaper shingles for siding.
• You've ever substituted the word "Geisinger" for "hospital" in regular conversation.
• Your hometown cowers in the shadow of a big black anthracite mountain.
• You've taken the Yuengling Brewery tour in Pottsville repeatedly, just to get the free samples at the end.
• Your family goes to Knoebel's Grove more than twice every summer.
• You know someone from, or are from "Shen-a-doe" (pronunciation varies).
• Anyone has used your front yard as a dumping ground for old washing machines, burned out auto frames, or severely
• The biggest thrill of your life is arriving at the Hometown Auction for the first time.
• Your 15 minutes of fame comes when you yell behind Tom Clark when he does the weather report at the Bloomsburg Fair.
• Someone you know (usually your grandmother) starts a sentence with "Why a". Ex. "Why a, I'll be ready for bingo at
• Someone you know uses "mind ya" in a sentence. Ex. "You don't want to be playing on the road, mind ya."
• In your home town, the 'sweatpants wedgie' is considered a fashion statement.
• There is a stream in your town called either Black Creek, Shit Creek or Sulfur Creek.
• You say with pride, "My Mom is a bartender!".
• You never use the word police, rather words such as "cops," "da Township," or " Stateez" are used.
• You go to the shore.
• You actually eat and enjoy pickled food.
• You enjoy a good CMP.
• You always pronounce the food store Weis in plural form.
• When people ask you how old you are or how big something was, you try to use the phrase "come again" more than once
and as much as you can.
• You think hot wings are a full meal if real ranch dressing AND vegetables are included in the same serving.
• You know what the phrase, "It's stickin good outside now!" means.
• You know what "the number" was yesterday.
• You can distinctly elaborate on the pros and cons of collecting Relief, Disability, Supplemental, Partials, Rent
and Fuel rebate, PACE, Welfare, MEDICARE, Black Lung, Social Security, Blue Cross and Blue Shield, Pension and Veteran Death
• You think the AARP is an elite club.
• You skipped High School for a day, shot a buck, put your name in the News Item newspaper section "With the Deer Hunters"
then got in trouble with your truant officer.
• You think that by merely stating the first name of someone who lives in another state, everyone will know that person.
"Oh, your from New Jersey, do you know Teddy, he's from New Jersey too!?"
• Everyone in town knows you by your nickname (for example, Flash, Bopper, Digger, Bombas, Ticker, Tanuts, Flapper,
Tomba, Vulture, Red, Steech, Rat, Coot, etc...) and you use and sign your nickname frequently on tickets and pools, but most
people have no idea what is your real first and last name.
• You out'n the lights before you go to bed.
• You've heard someone say "Boy, I hope I get laid off for the winter. I'd rather collect."
• You refer to general house cleaning as "Picking up the house".
• Your mom ASKS if you want to, she means DO IT! Example: "Barry, do you want to go to the store for me?"
• You are shocked if you meet someone who doesn't eat pizza on Friday.
• You say ' haint ' in place of isn't, ain't, or aren't. Ex. "Haint yous guys going?", "It's really raining out there,
haint it?", "That's a big damn dog, haint?"
• You have driven on the "Snake Road".
• You use the word 'Beautiful' to describe people, place's or things at least 25 times a day.
• You think white people are the only race.
• You can't understand why anyone would want to eat out at any other resturant when you can get a McDonalds's value
meal for $3.49.
• You take your date to the Susquehanna or Frackville Mall movie theatre to impress her.
• You celebrated New Year's Eve at the 'Zoo', the 'Hard Shell' or Gayden's
• You are too cheap to pay your way into a high school football game so you drive your car on top of a coal bank a
mile away for a perched view of the action.
• As a high schooler, you were able to legally drink and play football.
• You are not of Asian, Hispanic or African descent.
• You answer your own questions. Ex. "Are you coming to our house no?"
• Every weekend you and your high school buddies are upda bush drinking until midnight.
• Your view out your window is either the sh*t crick or the coal banks.
• You own a bar, video store, or pizza place.
• You swim in dirty stripping pits.
• When you want to fight someone you say: "Vine Street...3:00
• You go to the local fire company block party to watch your teachers get drunk.
• Your favorite pastime is shooting or throwing beer bottles at roadsigns.
• Your pick-up has at least two rolls of duct tape holding it together.
• Your grandmother, of any nationality, wears a babushka.
• To the rest of the world, Hooters is a restaurant chain. To you it's a band from Philadelphia.
• You're still not not over the breakup of Journey.
• Plaid gives you Catholic school flash backs.
• You don't think a stripping hole is an adult club.
• While the rest of the country is celebrating Fat Tuesday, you're celebrating Donut Day.
• You think A Treat soda is a national brand.
• You consider a marriage between a person from St. John's and St.Pat's Catholic Churches a mixed marriage.
• You still have halupkies on New Year's Day.
• You want to scream every time a newscaster tries to pronounce Schuylkill.
• You're shocked to find out no one in your office knows what Yuengling beer is.
• No matter where you live, you still think it's warmer than Frackville
• You're the only person on your street who "straightens the house" before guests come over.
• You can dodge potholes at 55 m.p.h.
• You get misty-eyed when you see Mrs. T.'s pierogies in the frozen food section of the supermarket.
• You can polka with the best of them!
• You end each sentence with "yeah" - "I was to Weis's and they got wings for 2.99 a pound, yeah"
• When you came home from playing outside all day your mother asked you "Where were you, playing in a coal hole?" Sometimes
in fact, you were!!!
Coal Crackers Favorite Movies/TV Shows:
Coal crackers like anything old.
They love black and white movies, and Indian/Cowboy movies.
Anything on USA and Life time movies.
If you walk into a bar in a Coal Cracker town you will probably find one of those channles on. Or Racing or Football.
Coal crackers love mellow sports like Baseball.
They also love to watch cartoons when babysitting.
Coal Crackers Favorite Bands:
Like Movies and Shows Coal Crackers like old music and thrive off of it to keep their past in tact with them.
They like anything from the 20's to the 70's. They like the mellow music like, Elvis and Bob Seager. Younger
Coal Crackers like to listen to 60's - 80's music. Like the Grateful Dead, and Led Zepplin.